Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Christmas Gift Lists

This is the first song on a CD of Christmas songs I bought right before Thanksgiving. It made me cry the first times I listened to it. And this video again makes me cry still.

And I question God in this. We were a couple, a family, ready. We have one amazing little girl. We struggled though pregnancies lost. Our hearts settled, excited, and praying for a new little one from the millions needing families.

But along came another pregnancy. Based on ultrasound and my ever-expanding girth, Goliath is a healthy (92nd percentile huge) baby of unknown gender. (I refer to baby as Goliath based on size.) We rejoice! We are exceedingly glad of this new little life. This little life is loved and cherished and so very wanted.

Still, I wonder over the child that could have been. The one we were expecting. I wonder if his mother found a family she felt good about. I wonder if she is in a family who looks like her. I wonder what happened. And I wonder about these children waiting. With this new one coming, it will be even longer before one of these older ones could join us.

Our paperwork lies in a moving box, completed, approved, waiting. The dream deferred. My heart breaking still for these motherless ones. I wonder what work is mine on their behalf. So I pray and I wait. And I invite you to prayer for these whose Christmas doesn't include mother-hugs and rough-housing with dads before a tree carefully decorated with ornaments homemade, celebrating family love.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Sarah, hugs! Your post made me cry! I love your heart for children and I'm sure if it's part of God's plan for your family to adopt that will happen at some point. For now, as you grow, I'm sure you see the blessing in that, especially after the heart ache!