Dear Chris and Abigail,
I am writing to inform you that I am taking Friday off. It is my vacation day. I plan to do what ever I want, alone. This does include showering, perhaps I will find the time to shave my legs uninterrupted before Goliath claims my ability to see my legs ever again. Also included in this is eating a meal without blowing, cutting or helping another human being with theirs at the expense of warm appetizing food.
As I have been in an exceptionally crummy mood lately, I am sure you can understand and maybe even rejoice in my day off. Upon my return, I will resume my normal tasks including finding items put in their proper place, ignoring comments regarding my apparent lack of knowledge regarding the finer details of life--such as when we are seeing our friends again, and praying for nap time.
Prior to Friday, please revise your to-do lists, ask all questions necessary, and supply me with a list of items you need but have disappeared into the unknown world of put-away, as I will be unavailable for comment.
P.S. Please note that this has nothing to do with feelings of anything less than love for my family. Sometimes for the sake of that love, time must be taken.