I was cranky.
Simon is being weird, teeth maybe.
Abigail, needy. Because I was cranky and Simon weird, she was shoved to the periphery. No one likes to be there.
I had asked for a good day. Laid my agenda before the Lord. Asked Him what His agenda was.
Set out for a good day.
Went shopping to get a few more things for vacation.
Started to feel pressured.
Why do I go shopping it always turns a good day rotten?
I had plans. Abigail needed someone to lie down with her at nap time. She didn't nap.
Lord, help me be kind.
I left disgusted. She fought quiet time. I exercised and showered.
Lord, give me patience.
Simon needed to eat when I wanted to clean out the van.
Lord, what of my plans!
Time to prepare dinner. Abigail wanted to help in the sink. No, Mommy, I don't need to go potty before playing in the water.
Lord, when she has an accident (because she will) help me to be kind.
She put dirty dishes in clean play water. Asked for a carrot one hundred times. Had an accident.
I erupted. Not a little. More like an explosion. Anger poured from my entire being at Abigail.
Lord, why did I do that? It wasn't at all like You. We are in relationship because You declare me holy based on the work of Christ, not because my behavior is holy. Why am I so mean to Abigail when she messes up? And by the way, where were you when I was praying for patience and kindness?
but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God
Sarah, where was the thanksgiving? Two beautiful children who love you and want to be with you. Only prayer and supplication . . . no thanksgiving? Patience and kindness are impossible without thanks. My work is cut off without thanks.
Later . . .
Abigail, ready for a walk.
Got your puddle shoes on.
I have these shoes.
Great, let's go.
Little girl running through mud puddles flinging wet dirt up her back, laughing.
Thanksgiving . . . patience and kindness.