Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I Think You Hate Me

Dear God,

Sometimes I don't know where you are. Like when the list of chores, want-tos, need-tos, and random unexpecteds grows out of control. When I feel like no matter what I do or how hard I work, I will never get to everything. When I look back at my day and can only see what is left undone.

Sometimes the morning after those days when I deliberately get up early to be with you and Abigail follows shortly thereafter. When I am asking for a few minutes of peace to unclench my teeth. When the sounds of my dear ones leads to a heart angry. When I really try to make sure my heart is right. When. . .and they wake early and they need so much on waking so early.
On those days, I think you must hate me.

And I desperately want you to love me. I want you to acknowledge that I am trying. I want you to care that I asked for fruit. I want you to hear and respond to my heart pleas.

I just want to know, to experience, your hearing, your responding, and your love. I don't want to have to believe it, I want to feel it.




  1. Do you know where I can get some Mean Ole Mommy (MOM) Oats that aren't burnt?

  2. that is a tough place to be in, I know this all too well (and more often than I care for, too). hang in there, and draw close to Him! Praying for you!!!

  3. Your letter broke my heart. Sending you hugs and prayers.