Sometimes I don't know where you are. Like when the list of chores, want-tos, need-tos, and random unexpecteds grows out of control. When I feel like no matter what I do or how hard I work, I will never get to everything. When I look back at my day and can only see what is left undone.
Sometimes the morning after those days when I deliberately get up early to be with you and Abigail follows shortly thereafter. When I am asking for a few minutes of peace to unclench my teeth. When the sounds of my dear ones leads to a heart angry. When I really try to make sure my heart is right. When. . .and they wake early and they need so much on waking so early.
On those days, I think you must hate me.
And I desperately want you to love me. I want you to acknowledge that I am trying. I want you to care that I asked for fruit. I want you to hear and respond to my heart pleas.
I just want to know, to experience, your hearing, your responding, and your love. I don't want to have to believe it, I want to feel it.Love,