Monday, October 11, 2010

Resentment

Sometimes, it is shocking I know, I resent my husband. I resent that he goes to work and leaves work and I don't. I resent when he works on something he has planned all week while I work on something I have planned all week with interruption. I resent the way he sleeps in and the way he can sleep without hearing any little voices.

But the reality is that he has plenty of reason to resent me. He works for a company that wants to be rid of the division of itself in this area while I work for a man who respects me and what I do and with people who love me. I get quiet moments with precious little ones. I spend time with people I love and want to spend time with.

And he lets me escape when I've had enough.

It is all in how I look at it. Resentment will build when I concentrate on what he has or gets from this relationship. Resentment will be squelched when I look at what I have and what I am given from this relationship. This isn't meant to say that there is never failure on each of our parts that needs addressed, but if I wait and if I look up I have the attitude of love and kindness during the address instead of the anger and resentment. And that always helps.

Some things I thought about this weekend wondering what is addressable. . .
::he sends me out alone for girl's events no less than twice a week::
::he unloads and reloads the dishwasher::
::he folds laundry::
::he plays with them::
::he pursues me and won't let my moods fester::
::he looks at me::
::I have a meticulously maintained car::
::he treats other people well::
::he makes me tea::
::he loves my family::

4 comments:

  1. love you guys, wish we lived closer together :)

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  2. thank you for the reminder Sarah. I often struggle with this issue and I appreciate your perspective (how I'm loved by those I work with in comparison to what Ryan gets from those around him at work). I will remember that the next time resentment rears it ugly head. :)

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  3. So real and deep. A perfect reminder. Thank you for sharing.

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  4. you are such a jewel, sarah

    love,
    jan

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