This Week

Sunday.

All is quiet. The children are sleeping. Chris is working in the garage finishing the longest car repair in history.

I wanted these moments of quiet, entirely my own. I wanted to wrap my mind around the coming week. To record the week past. To sit with journal and pen and Bible. To hear from the Lord.

My mind races
With things left undone--Doors to paint. Toys to pick up. Lettuce to plant. Bird bath to erect.
With things to be tried--Pillow sewing. Dress making. Running.
With goals set--Organize those storage areas. Begin planning the schooling we will do at home. Flowers to plant.
Simplify, budget, mother, manage.

Finding time for it all seems impossible.

There is no wrapping of mind around the things of life. Not yet. Not now.

Father God,
This week sits before me naked, waiting to be lived, the moments filled with the stuff of woman, wife, mother.You sit above this space of time, Creator of minutes, hours, weeks. There is a way to fill this week to give you great joy. That is the path I desire.

Unnatural Mom

My baby is fed formula and wears disposable diapers.

I tried breastfeeding Abigail and the experience three and a half years later still makes me panicky. I considered breastfeeding Simon, but when packing for the hospital I went searching for all the anti-engorgement supplies I could find. I took it as a sign. I don't buy organic formula because the rest of us want to eat too.

I wanted to try cloth diapers for Abigail, but with the problems breastfeeding, I could not get my mind around nursing and cloth diapers. By the time I quit nursing, the cloth diapering idea was long gone. No breastfeeding Simon, so I considered cloth again. I even bought diaper covers.

And I tried. Once a day for a few days and yesterday. Yesterday, I thought I should give it a good try. We made it through two diapers--one feeding period. It felt like breastfeeding--getting a good fit from the diapers, keeping the hook and loop tape from the diaper cover from irritating Simon's belly, and making sure he was dry. All while a talking three year old wanted my attention. I quit that too.

Sometimes simplicity is formula and disposable diapers. I can and will cook from scratch, but where my babies are concerned, I will be the unnatural mom. It is the only way I can enjoy them and function as a wife, mother, and woman. I am thankful to live at this point in history. Again God's timing is perfect.

What a great picture, hunh? Both children sleeping. I can take a quick picture, make some coffee, and sit on the porch in quiet and read for a little while.

Until. . . I move the little one to his bed. He realized that he wasn't napping on top of Mama today. He was wailing before I made the coffee. I moved him to the living room so he wouldn't wake his sister. He seemed happy for all of five minutes. Then the wailing, again. I choose to ignore it.

So I am thankful for the backhoe working two yards up while I read my Bible. And now I stubbornly write away on the porch. He is so cute and little, if I go in I might give in.

Observation

Yesterday was our anniversary-nine years of marriage. I was planning to wax eloquent about how much I still love my husband and how very thankful I am to be married to this man. But like to posts about Abigail's funny sayings or Simon's amazing baby-ness, it didn't get written.

Most days go by in a haze of activity and by the time I can write the words have disappeared into tiredness.

Not a complaint, just an observation.