So, yesterday, I read through my journal trying to find something to say for the contest. I read and at times confused myself. (I remember why I avoid stream-of-conscious writing.) I read some more. I found a few entries that I could turn into an article.
I started typing. We had pizza because I flipped through a sewing book from the library instead of typing and I had to type during the time I would be making dinner. I typed and typed and tried to make sense of things.
I asked Chris if he really thought I was capable of doing this. He answered with what he calls vehemence and I interpret as annoyance at being asked, again.
Then, I asked him to read the article, two journal entries tied together in theme. He made his comments. I sat on the couch dejected, and started searching blog archives for a post to tweak. Finally I mumbled, Is there anything salvageable about what you read?
I think there is a lot that is good there. he answered. (Based on his critique earlier, I figured out that he meant I needed to use more words. Because he basically said that sometimes I don't use enough words and things are hard to follow. But earlier I just heard, this article will never make anything.)
So I add words and I submit and I wait. Today I got a response assuring me that the article was received and promising a response, so I wait.
And I pray
Pray the worry away
Pray courage for the heart fearful
And I feed
Feed upon Love
Feed upon Truth
And I rest
Rest in green pastures
Rest by still waters
Now when there is nothing I cease striving and meet Him in the waiting silence.
Praying, feeding, resting. And I wait that He would be exalted in all the earth and in this heart.
Life in light of Psalm 46:10 and Psalm 23.