Monday, September 20, 2010

One of Us Could Have Not Come Home

Many days after our accident, from her seat behind me, Abigail stated
One of us could have not come home.
What do you mean? We just passed the hospital and were on our way home from a shopping trip. I was thinking about the next thing, probably glancing to check the amount of time till quiet.
Exasperated she answered, From the accident, one of us could have not come home.

Wow, weeks later and she lands on that. I prayed.
Yes, it is true, but aren't we thankful that God protected us all and we are together.
Sorrow filled her little voice. I didn't have to use the special see-your-children-in-the-backseat rear-view mirror to know her eyes were growing larger and tears were about to overflow.
But I'm not ready to die! I don't want to go to heaven yet.

What do I say to that? Heaven is to be the desire of my heart, the desire of each believer's heart.
To die is gain
Thoughts race. But I've been so thankful these last weeks to see their faces each day, to be their mother one more moment, to be his wife. I'm not ready to die; I don't want to go to heaven yet, either. 
Yet that seems less than the wisest thing to say. She inspires me to What-do-I-say-now prayers. (His inspiration is more Please-protect-him prayers.)

God wasn't ready to take any of us home yet. He still has work for us to do here. 
To live is Christ.

The conversation rings in my ears days later. Over and over this summer, He has reminded me that these fragile lives are in His hands, and these fragile lives are only as safe as they are in the center of His will.
He still has work for me to do, a divine calling, a purpose.
Oh, that I may serve Him and in so doing come to a place where I can join Paul-to die is gain.


  1. I'm still praying the what-do-I-say prayer. I was going over Awana stuff with Isabel and we were talking about John 3:16 and Jesus dying for us and that we'll go to heaven when we die. Isabel got stuck on the heaven part and started asking me if I'm going to go there. Of course I said 'yes' and then her eyes welled up and said she doesn't want to go there and that she wants me to stay here with her. What could I say? I'm still at a loss and I think at this point I need to leave the subject alone, she just doesn't understand. And so I pray my prayer 'help me to help her understand'. :)

    So glad you all came back home after the accident! :)

  2. If it helps...... in our house we focus a lot on Christ's re-appearing, because after all, isn't the basis of Christian hope a looking forward to new heavens and a new earth? And so yes people die and go be with Jesus.. but ONE DAY he's going to reappear, and he's going to fix everything that is bad and wrong with this planet, and he's going to make it into a new heavens and a new earth sowe can all live here together again in peace---- this is somewhat of a new perspective I've gained lately, and for me (and, I hope, the kids), it is much more exciting and much less scary/mysterious to think about!