I remember my words and the tears and my mother's arms and her tears that morning.
He is supposed to be here with me.
Today sitting on the same couch in a house far from that one. My tears still well in my eyes with grief, but I know things now that I didn't then and as I did then so now I find the things that speak His love and bring joy to my heart.
:: comments that tell me that I am not alone in feeling the weight of his life ::
:: friends here who know the story and ask ::
:: yellow grocery store daisies and pink cards delivered on the day ::
:: the blanket unfinished ::
:: early ultrasound pictures ::
:: cards filled with kind words ::
:: a recording ::
:: the angel and two bears, gifts for mother and child::
:: a box in our closet ::
:: touching love ::
And those two
:: boys with brown eyes and round faces ::
:: girls who ask for more babies ::
who will never replace him, but who like him are good gifts of transformation from a God who proves Himself so faithful.