Freedom

I've been thinking lately about the year of Jubilee, the favorable year of the Lord. About how very much I want one. I planned on writing much more about it today, but those words will need to wait for the coming days and weeks. For today, after checking and replying to my email, and attempting to make homemade whole wheat pasta, I find myself more crunched for time than I like. So a longer post will need to wait. But a short one, I can write. . .

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,
Because the LORD has anointed me
To bring good news to the afflicted;
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to captives
And freedom to prisoners; 

Isaiah 61:1

I have a superpower. I can become captivated by words. Not the best superpower in the world for it is easily manipulated for evil. Yesterday, I was trying to think through this week and I found myself feeling a little trapped in the list. Not a long list, but a list I knew would be added to by husband and children as their needs became urgent. It seemed a lonely list. 

Not satisfied to stay alone in my prison of listed tasks, I began a new list, a list to account for all that I do that no one notices, that others undo, a misery that I alone am martyred for daily. Oh, yes, I heaped coals of frustration upon the heads of my husband and children in my head while plunging myself deeper and deeper into a fury. All of this while readying us for the evening Bible studies at church; a time I truly love. I was a mess of self-pity.

I had written in my journal just that afternoon, asking for freedom from the should dos, the could dos, the must dos, the will dos, the need to-dos, all the dos I could think of. I was trying to take my freedom by blaming those around me. When all I needed to do was remember His touches throughout the day. Freedom from the prison of my to-do list came in the listing of His love apparent.

::a moon hung low even in the sunlight::

::sun, moon, and clouds holding conference just to the east::

::sweet Sunday afternoon naps; letting go is invited::

::his voice reciting God is good all by himself::

::the softness of her cheeks during bedtime hugs::

::caramel iced donuts::

::sweet letter of encouragement and resources for our adoption journey tucked onto our dear secretary's desk:: 

::and her delivery at just the right time::

::the determination not to try to guess::

::carbohydrates::

 ::middle school boy trying hard to not give me a hard time::

::the Revelation Song:: (can you imagine the day?!)

If from His hand drips such sweetness as this, then will He not guide me though the listing of tasks granting me freedom from the self-imposed boundaries of to-do lists too long? The favorable day of the Lord, indeed.