I Am Not

I am not patient. I don't like to learn patience or endurance or perseverance.
I want all the changes that we are looking forward to right now.
All the wait,
All the unknown,
All of it to be over.

But, all these things hinging on each other will only be finished when they are finished.
I have no way of controlling how quickly our house sells, or if the houses we like are still on the market.
I have no way of answering questions about support systems for our adoption till I know where we are living.
And while I can control what I eat and when I shop, the weight will come off slowly and the accounts will accumulate just as slowly.

I am not in control.
I am not patient.
And I don't like it anymore.

On the other hand, we are moving by our choice and we have choices.
There are two healthy wonderful amazing children trying to abide rest time.
We have more than enough.
I am healthy and able to do what I want

No, I'm not patient; nor am I in control, but I can be grateful and I can learn contentment.