So, I've been reading this book Captivating. Last week and this it has been talking about taking our needs to Christ and letting him meet us. (Whatever the answer, He will be there.) I've been getting frustrated because I keep telling Him what is wrong and yet I still feel like a rubber band stretched or sometimes like a mammoth is sitting on me. And last night, Abigail, for no discernable reason, woke up crying at 9:15 (at least it wasn't during Ugly Betty) and refused to be comforted.
But today, I didn't just complain to God. I asked Him to come and take care of us. And HE DID! I seem so surprised. It was my own hang-ups that were in the way before; I now realize. I just talked without asking and I never expected Him to actually be what I needed. Even with bananas on the floor and diaper rash and running late. Abigail was still a joy when I put her in her car seat. And she was patient as I bought her things at the consignment store, and got a movie at the movie place, and groceries at the store. God met me and walked with me and shopped with me and made me beautiful and I finally noticed.
Then He told me to clean up the dining room before meeting with Him, because oatmeal on the floor and chicken nugget crumbs on the table, do not make for a heart at peace. And then He taught me.
Ezekeil 11:19 says "And I shall give them a new heart and shall put a new spirit within them. And I shall take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh." Oh how I wish that was ahh duh as Abigail would say. But this too, this presentation of my heart of stone in exchange for a heart of flesh is a daily sacrifice. I must remember to see the new heart and new spirit given me, for that is His promise. (And Abigail is His most effective tool.)
I, too, wish I was 'ahh duh'. I sooo know what your talking about, but you may be a step ahead. I often have felt that I am at the end of myself but feel that life keeps moving with no help from the Lord. I don't have an answer but I keep looking because the one thing I do know is that He is not giving up on me in this growth process. I am not alone, for He is with me. For me, I think it comes down to the dying of self. Every day. All day. Let's keep on keepin' on! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks deanne. Usually I miss His hand. I am so dense I have to ask Him to let me see.
ReplyDelete